Dear Jack and Jill:

If I remember correctly I mentioned in my last letter that I intended to comment on the news from the grapevine that you twins were thinking of getting married, but that the letter was getting too long and that I would do so in my next letter. Alice in Wonderland’s walrus said, “The time has come to speak of many things”, and the time has now come to speak of marriage. So, you are thinking of getting married! Gram slyly put in her penny’s worth by saying that she opined that Jill was thinking of it about two years before you were. Jack. Right, Jill? We also have heard that you are “twinning” this experience, too, by staging a double wedding. Great! But we understand that the date has not yet been set. That is fine for then you will have some time to think of all the implications of wedded life. Or are you too overwhelmed with the idea of “being in love” to make such considera­tions? But “being in love”, though a necessary ingredient in a Christian mar­riage, is an emotion of the mind which spills over into our other members. Emo­tions, you know, have their ups and downs; they wane and ebb, and at times can change so radically in a few moments from “love” to extreme “hatred”, (see II Sam. 13:15) But Love between a Chris­tian man and wife is a matter of the heart, from which it spreads throughout the whole person, the entire being, heart, mind and spirit.

Marriage is a creation ordinance, a “built-in” part of the creation of the first man in Paradise. And Adam was led to understand his aloneness through the God-given task of naming the animals which all appeared before his face in pairs! Mates, if you will. In that lesson he learned that to be a complete “man-organism” he needed a mate so that they two could be “one flesh”. Christ, while sojourning in our flesh and blood, taught this in no uncertain terms. And though He could not speak from personal experi­ence He did speak from Creational experi­ence. He, the Second Person of the Holy Trinity, created that ordinance. He “in­vented” it and He built it in when, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.” Gen. 1:27.

Now this “one flesh” idea is not to be considered as a mechanism like a watch which is made up of several parts and assembled together to make a time-piece. Rather it is like a violin and bow which make one musical instrument. One or­ganism. Neither one of those two parts can function as a musical instrument, but both working together in their respective “offices” make beautiful music.

That marriage union cannot be dis­solved. That is, the Christian marriage cannot be dissolved except by one means, death. True, some churches allow divorce freely; some more reluctantly; but our churches view divorce as a most serious operation like the amputation of both legs, instead of a mere dissolving of a partnership.

The Christian virtue of chastity is one of the ruling factors in a Christian mar­riage. It is of prime importance, but I suppose at this stage you abhor the very thought that you might lose that virtue. Unfaithfulness is farthest from your thoughts, but don’t imagine that Satan will not tempt you to fall into a violation of that virtue. There is another virtue which ought to be seriously considered. That is justice. That is the virtue of keep­ing a promise. When you say your vows before the minister (and you are so very eager to do so) you are expected to answer some questions. One of those is the vow, solemnly made before God and witnesses, “until death do us part.” Mind you God hears that as a solemn vow from which He will not release you “while you both shall live”. And you do mean it from the bottom of your soul; or are you trying to deceive someone: your lover? your in-laws? or God? That modern un­-Christian viewpoint is so prevalent in novels, newspapers, and among work-fellows, it is likely to color your thinking too. They say that divorce and remarriage is merely a readjustment of partners whenever they think they do not love their mate any more, or when one or both “falls in love” with someone else. Then one sees two virtues violated, chas­tity and justice. And if it is true what you have heard that love, or “being in love” is the sole reason for keeping a marriage intact, then the idea of keeping a promise cannot be considered. If love is the whole thing then a promise cannot enhance the union. But a promise of constancy is an integral part of being in love. Lovers want to promise each other that it will be for life! This is not imposed upon, but in­herent in, being in love. The minister is not going to ask you to promise to be “in love” unto death do you part. It’s about living holy with one another, and rever­encing and obeying.

Now a quick look at “women’s Lib”. That is a gimmick which Satan uses to nullify the marriage ordinance. Make no mistake about it: the man is the head of the wife in the creation-built-in. And, Jill, that is the way you want it. You surely could not reverence a husband who re­linquishes that office. And if that bit about “reverencing and obeying” seems to place a heavier burden upon the wife than the husband carries, think about the husband’s vow to love his wife AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH. Christ loves His Church when she was (is) least deserving of it. The terms, “in sickness and in health”: “for richer or poorer” does not mention, “when she least deserves it”.

Have I pictured a too-gloomy look at your intended step? NO. I was only try­ing to prepare you for pitfalls and stum­bling blocks which may be in your future because of your sinful natures. The more holily you live, the richer your walk of sanctification, the smoother will be the sea of matrimony. With the Word of God for your chart, and with the Savior still­ing the waves, and the love of God inter­twined with your conjugal love, you are in for a beautiful experience and a life­time of untold and unmeasurable joy!

* * * * * *

That is what I was going to write, and I did, but that was a month ago. Time slipped by and I did not get the letter mailed. Now we have heard that the day has been set. Christmas Day! What an appropriate day! The day in history in which our Savior took upon himself our flesh and blood in order to prepare the way to take unto Himself His Bride! I almost envy you for having chosen that date. Looking back I would have liked that for our wedding date.

Before closing this letter I must tell you of a trip which Gram took in which she experienced a most wonderful change of scenery. She was taken to the airport in a heavy downpour, with dark clouds lowering almost to the ground. We won­dered if the plane would take off in such adverse conditions. But it did. And soon (oh, much too soon!) it was out of sight. But for Gram it was a sudden change from the dark cloud into the bright noon-day sunshine when the plane broke through. The sky was azure blue and the light was dazzling to her eyes. What looked like a danger-of-death experience turned out to be a transition from dark­ness to a marvelous light! Of course you understand that this story is only a metaphor. The Trip Gram took was from this world of the darkness of sin and pain into the heavenlies. Home! Where there is no need of the sun for The Son is the light thereof! Seeing Gram is not going to come back from that Trip I will guess what advice she would have given you had she been here when I finished this letter. I’m sure she would have said; “Be generous in your praise, spontaneous in your sympathy, and stingy in your crit­icism.”

I am looking forward to sharing your wedding supper with you knowing that Gram is enjoying the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.

Love, Gramps