The Place of the Mother in the Home

Why is it so important for mom to be in the home? I would say the greatest reason is that children learn from example more than from word. Not always, but usually when a girl gets married and starts a home, she imitates the home she came from. That’s why when a young couple starts talking about marriage they should have many discussions about the strengths and weaknesses of each of their homes. In doing this, they can establish godly goals for their own new home.

We are teaching more than we realize in our daily living. We are models of what we want our daughters to be, and of what we want our sons to look for in a wife. We should have reasons for them also, why we are the mothers we are. They should see it is directly related to the Word of God. Do you have the home you want your daughter or son to have, regardless of how rich or poor you are? Re­member, too, that God controls our paychecks just as much as He controls the air we breathe, and His trials come in many different forms. How willing are you to trust Him? Are you afraid God might place you below the living standards of your friends, or even make you poor? “Better is little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure and trouble therewith. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.” (Proverbs 15:16, 17).

Does your daughter see that the love of God and doing His will is of greater value to you than house, fame, fortune, or especially reputation or pride? Are you teaching her that godliness with con­tentment is great gain?

Home is mom’s place to teach her daughter the principles of a happy home, not only by teaching and disciplining with God’s Word, but also by a liv­ing example. How about it mom? How often does your daughter see you contemplating God’s Word? How many times does she see you showing acts of mercy and kindness to people, especially the mem­bers of God’s church, teaching her that if one mem­ber suffers, we all suffer. “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Philippians 2:4). How often does your daughter see you happy and fulfilled keeping your house neat and clean for your family? Do you speak of your calling with joy?

Mom, what receives the greatest interest in your life? What do you do with your time? Have you asked God to direct you with regard to the dates on your calendar? Are you doing what you think God would have you do, or are you filling your time and life with little value? Are you seeking to do God’s will in this area also? How can you meet a goal if there’s no time in which to do it? I think Satan knows that if he can keep us very busy we will not have time for our true calling.

Are you teaching your daughter the hard les­son of submission to the man in her life through your example? I’ve heard it said that the best thing you can give to your children is to love and respect their father. Are you showing her a “meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price” (I Peter 3:4b). Also, “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov­erbs 15:1).

What about prayer? Do you pray for their dad, for each of them, for other members of your de­nomination, and for the church universal? Do you teach them to cast all their cares upon Him be­cause He cares for them?

Do you compliment and encourage your hus­band, your children, and others while they struggle along their pilgrim’s journey? Be sure that they know they can talk to you about any of their problems. You may know that you love them, but do they know?

Are you delegating jobs to your children so they know what co-operation, love, and sharing is in a home? Do you try to have a place for everything in your home in order to make things easier for your family? Are you teaching them how to organize es­pecially their own rooms? Do you work hard yourself? Do you make your bed the minute you get up, if it is possible? Do you put a load of wash in the washing machine right away, if it is possible?

Do you kiss and hug your children, read to them and find time for them? Do you sing and memorize Bible verses with them and teach them how these verses help them in their daily life? What about catechism? Do you sneak in their memorization just before they go to bed when you are usually crabby and worn out and they are not at their best? Or, do you try to make catechism a happy, enjoyable, learning time? Can they see you love that Word of God? This takes time, organization, determination, and a very real struggle against our sinful flesh.

Are you teaching your children to deny them­selves for the kingdom of God’s sake? Are you prac­ticing this self-denial in a way that they can see? What about T.V.? What about furnishing your home? What about clothes? What about cars? What about sports? What about the little things you buy? What about eating out? Are you encouraging your children to set a goal for their life on this earth? Do they know loving service and good stewardship is your goal? Do you live your goal? “If ye know these things happy are ye if ye do them” (John 13:17).

This is a big responsibility in the kingdom of God, that we might be seen as those in which the Word of God dwells and lives. It is joy to do God’s will and later to hear from our Lord, well done thou good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord. Can your children see the joy of your Lord in your life? What kind of attitude does your family see in your life? Attitude is basic to a Christian home. How we know, moms and dads, how a bad mood can change the mood of the entire family and

vice versa. The fruit of the Spirit of Jesus Christ should clearly be seen in our attitude. Do your children know how important they are to you? Do you want to be there for them? Does your family know that the Lord Jesus Christ is the reason you smile, try, love, work, play, live and move and have your being?

When God gives us children He places on us a great profession. The world would have us believe that the profession of motherhood is easy; in fact, so easy, that moms can take on the schedule of a man and then in her extra time fit in the needs of her home and children. Who pays the price? The world knows nothing about being a “keeper at home” and a “weaker vessel,” but we do through God’s Word. We should never be ashamed of that Word. May our prayer be that God give us strong homes with time for Him, His children, and His church. May He help us to nourish our children spiritually and physically in the ways of Christ Jesus their Lord by word and example. May He help us “to walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called” (Ephesians 4:1).

It was good for me to have been asked to write on this subject and to be reminded again of my calling. It was good for me also to see my failing to seek the Lord’s forgiveness, and then to strive again to glory and virtue. Don’t give up before you start but strive “according as His divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godli­ness, through the knowledge of Him that hath called us to glory and virtue” (II Peter 1:3). “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered awhile, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you” (II Peter 5:10).

The calling is difficult, the joy is great. “I have no greater joy that to see my children walk in truth” (III John 1:4).


Judy is a mother of 9 and is a member of Hope Protestant Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.