I was asked to submit an article on the above mentioned subject. I am delighted both with this opportunity and subject. There are two main reasons for this delight. First, there is much mis­understanding regarding family visitation. Many of us are hard pressed to cite reasons for the practice and yet harder pressed to describe the particular purpose that the custom of family visitation serves in our midst. I don’t care to lay blame on anyone’s doorstep, but perhaps it would be beneficial to give concrete instruction regarding family visitation in catechism, societies and elsewhere. Yet what grieves me most about this lack of understanding is this: that ignorance results in fear and family visitation becomes an unpleasur­able experience. This brings me to the second reason for my delight and that is this; instruction results in an understand­ing of family visitation that enables us to receive maximum benefit.

We purpose, therefore, in this article to come to a proper understanding of the institution of family visitation in order that we may utilize it to our spiritual welfare and it may be a joyous occasion.

If we begin with the basis or the principles that are involved, then we will consequently come to a proper under­standing of the purpose. There is, though this is not primary in our purpose, an apologetic reason for beginning with the principle that underlies the idea of family visitation. Family visitation has fallen into disrepute. It has suffered terribly at the hands of so called “Reformed Churches’’. It is often times branded as “unneces­sary” and resultantly disparaged with, or what is just as bad, it is reduced to nothing more than a social institution and visit. We must be careful not to fall into such a grievous error.

In dealing with family visitation, we are dealing with the Church of our Lord Jesus Christ! It might be mentioned here in passing that the Church of Christ that is comprised of believers and their seed exhibits herself in the institutional form of a congregation. This means that the congregation is at once the limitation as well as the obligation of family visitation. Members of the church are entitled to family visitation and may certainly not keep silent if the church is negligent in this regard. But the church stands in obligation to members alone. Those who do not choose to affiliate themselves with the body of Christ in any one particular place have no right to the spiritual care of family visitation. But back to the principle. The church of which we deal is the Body of Christ. The apostle Paul makes clear that the Church is indeed such in Ephesians 1. In fact, this is the burden of this Epistle. Says he of Christ, “And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.” (Ephesians 1:22&23) It is the figure of the body that speaks very precisely regarding the nature and es­sence of the Church! Saints are members in particular of the Body of Christ. They, as individuals, receive from Him as the Head, all that they stand in need of; even as in the natural realm the head guides, directs, supplies, etc. the body as a whole, and members in particular. But you say, “that’s the church What about my church, the individual congregation that conducts such family visitation? It must be under­stood that not only does Paul give a description of the Church, but also of the congregation. This is evident from the fact that Paul himself makes application in his epistles to the individual congregations of Ephesus, Colossa, etc. Each congregation is a complete unity or the whole Body of Christ in any one particular place. It functions as such in a full congregational life!

Not only is Christ the head, but also the Chief Shepherd and Bishop of our souls! This is the figure of Psalm 23. John speaks of it in the 10th chapter of his gospel when he writes the words of Christ, ‘“I am the good shepherd and know my sheep, and am known of mine…My sheep hear my voice, and I know them and they follow me:” (John 10:14&27) The Heidel­berg Catechism speaks of this shepherdizing care in Lord’s Day 19 putting it this way, “by His Spirit, He pours out heavenly graces upon His members.” Christ, with the tender care of a shepherd, takes care of us His sheep as we are His body!

The key question here is, how does He do this? How does He wield the shepherd’s staff and give unto us spiritual nourishment? Christ from His exalted position at God’s right hand exercises His office as Prophet, Priest and King over His Church. Christ is no longer with us, but He sent to the Church the Comforter, even the Spirit of Truth. And through the work of the Spirit, that threefold office of Prophet, Priest and King is reflected in the believer. That important principle of which God’s people had been robbed was returned to them in the Reformation. But not only is it reflected in this way that applied to all believers, but also in a particular way through the offices in the church institute. Now don’t accuse me of once again taking the offices of prophet, priest and king away from the layman. This is not the case. Christ purposed to have the church institute function through the specific offices of pastor (or teaching elder if you will), elder and deacon. These correspond to Prophet, King and Priest. That is why men do not set themselves up in office, but the congregation of God’s people call and elect. Yet this is the call of Christ through the congregation. Elders and deacons, as well as ministers, have the authority of their office directly from Christ. This is why the consistory is the highest and only ruling body in the Church of Christ. That which I desire to stress is this, that Christ exercises His shepherdizing care through these parti­cular offices. For this reason you read a strong passage such as Hebrews 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves; for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account…” You understand, soul care is Christ’s shepherdizing, and soul care is the responsibility of elders who rule over us as those who are responsible to Christ for our souls!

Understanding this, the purpose of family visitation is no longer obscure to us. The elders purpose to exercise soul care in family visitation. This is their obligation before God. They deal not with their own possessions, but with those who have been purchased by God through the precious blood of His Son. They function as the arm through which Christ shepherdizes us. They are concerned about our spiritual health. Their interest is to make sure that we as sheep and lambs do not suffer malnutrition, but are in good health and strength. This is why family visitation must be conducted often. Certainly, yearly is minimum and must not be stretched. Physically, we schedule our annual check­ups and dental appointments. Spiritually, the elders mark our spiritual maturation process and deal with our weaknesses as they see them. The point that I am trying to make is that family visitation is spiritual in character. This we must understand. It is not so that elders and pastor are nosy and snooping, or that they have a personal desire to pry into our personal lives. This is far from the truth! Theirs is a genuine concern for us as Christ’s sheep.

Then we can appreciate the minister and elders when they come to visit us. Understanding this, we do not look at them as mere men calling to our minds all their faults and shortcomings. But we welcome them as office-bearers of Christ and His Church. Christ comes into our homes and inquires regarding our spirit­ual wellbeing!

What we now understand also dic­tates the manner of family visitation. It may never be regarded as a mere social call. I have witnessed family visitation that was wholly devoid of spiritual inquiry and discussion. It was everything but a spiritual visit. The spirituality of the family and members individually was not sought out! Office bearers and congrega­tion must remember that deep spiritual questions and discussion is proper and necessary. The specific method of family visitation is often debated. I find that family visitation manifests itself in one of two extremes. I dislike both. It either takes on the form of a rigorous question and answer session, or it becomes an hour of instruction on a predetermined subject. When the former takes place all the “usual” questions are asked and “can­ned” answers are given in response. The Christian life is not divided into neat “yes” or “no” answers. No one has spoken from the heart. Often times fear dictates “standard” response. Some children of God tell me that family visitation actually frightens them. This is sad! The Standard Bearer may be in the right place, topping the stack of mag­azines, the living room spotless for the occasion, all in their Sunday best, but the spiritual life of the family is never touched upon. Such family visitation is abstract and artificial. When the latter of the two above happens, the hour of family visitation is filled with good sound instruction, almost like a catechism class or a small sermonette. But family visitation is instantly personal and spirit­ual.

Positively, if we return to the purpose of family visitation and keep it foremost in our minds, the rest will fall into place. Elders must realize that it is their concern to take the spiritual pulse of the family. This is not accomplished by rigorous questions answered out of fear by curt answers, but rather by stimulating the family to speak regarding their life and walk from a spiritual point of view. That must be the prayer at family visitation, “Lord, give unto us the ability to touch upon our spiritual life.”

Then there is no reason for any of us to tie ourselves in knots for the occasion. We need not lecture our children before the minister walks into the house, but be ourselves and encourage one another to speak of our faith, our comfort. Pastors, elders, parents and children all have the same things in common. We are all dead in trespasses and sins, and in thanks­giving acknowledge the goodness of God’s grace unto usward. When this becomes apparent, then all is well. We rejoice and the elders report to the consistory—All is well, they witnessed themselves to be children of God.