I.   The Importance of Friends.

A.  God has created us in such a way that we need friends.

1.  Friendship is a reflection of the covenant relationship of God.

a.  Within Himself God enjoys the bond of perfect friendship between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

b.  God’s people enjoy the bond of God’s friendship in Jesus Christ.

2.    “And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone.” Gen. 2:18.

a.  This passage refers first to marriage, earth’s ultimate friendship.

b.  It also shows that friends are necessary for all of us.

B.  God uses friends in part of our development.

1.  God uses parents in the initial and important part of our development.

2.  He also uses friends.

a.  During the teen age years, young people become very sensitive to their friends and peers.

b.  During these years, friends have a tremendous influence on young people. Eg. What they wear, sing, think and do.

3.  There is a danger in this matter that young people put friends in God’s place and commit the sin of idolatry. See H.C. Q.&A. 95.

II.   The Idea of Friendship.

A. The principle idea of friendship is enjoying and sharing each other’s company and life.

1.  There are superficial associations in life.

a.  These associations are based on common location. E.g., neighbors, fellow-workers, etc.

b.  These associations do not necessarily partake of the essence of friendship.

2.  True friends and true friendship are “in the Lord’’.

a. The love that friends have for each other is rooted in the love that God has for them.

b.  Friends esteem each other because they reflect the work of God’s grace in their lives.

3.  God created a spiritual unity in His people.

a.  Godly friends love the same things.

b.  Godly friends share each other’s lives.

1)  I Sam. 20:17, “And Jonathan caused David to swear again, because he loved him: for he loved him as he loved his own soul.”

2)  II Sam. 1:26, “I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”

B. Friends who share the love of God have the spiritual quality which will allow them to serve each other in humility.

1.  A Christian friend will not choose a friend solely to enhance himself.

a.  A Christian will not be self-centered.

b.  A Christian will not ask, “What can he or she do for me”.

2.  We show ourselves true friends as we help and serve each other in the Lord.

a.  Prov. 18:24, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly. . .”

b.  I John 4:7, “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.”

3.  Jesus is a model friend.

a. He humbled himself to the death of the cross to save us. Cf. Phil. 2:7 & 8.

b.  He laid down his life for his friends. Cf. John 15:13-15.

c. He is the friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Cf. Prov. 18:24.

III.   The Choosing.

A. The Biblical directives to guide us in choosing friends.

1.  Negatively:

a.  We will not be friends with the world because whosoever is a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Cf. James 4:4.

b. We will not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers nor have fellowship with unrighteousness. Cf. II Cor. 6:14-18.

c. We will make no friendship with an angry or furious man. Cf. Prov. 22:24, 25.

2.  Positively:

a. The God fearing and those that keep God’s precepts will be our friends. Cf. Ps. 119:63.

b.  We will seek the wise for he that walketh with wise men shall be wise. Cf. Prov. 13:20.

c. We will choose those who are honest and faithful before God.

1)  They will correct us when we err-even with a sharp wound.

2) “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful’’. Prov. 27:6.

B. The way we choose friends.

1.  This matter is too important to just drift along without giving it serious thought.

a.  We must study the Scriptural principles.

b.  We must bring this important matter before God in prayer.

2.  We must choose friends for their spiritual qualities, and not for natural considerations. E.g. rich, popular, good-looking, talented, etc.

3.  We will talk this matter over with our parents because they love us and are deeply concerned about this area of our development.

IV.  Related Questions.

A.  May we have Christian friends who are not members of our churches?

B.   Must we be discerning about our friends if they are members of our churches? Why?

C.   May we go against what is right for a friend? E.g. to lie or to cheat.

D.   Do you want a friend who will approve everything that you say or do?

E.   Is there any truth to the saying, “A man is known by the company he keeps’’?